[annals of a petty life]

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Ok. It's been six months and I it's about time that I revisit this hovel of a blog. So the questions is what has changed in six months? Nothing. Well, nothing of import anyway. Notice that I've dropped my ellipses, it's for the better. I need to practice writing more. It's strange that writing now really means typing into a text box. Let's see, I've found it increasingly more difficult to concentrate; it is as if my mind mind needs to be distracted. Internet doesn't help. Oh, Olivia and Stephen tied the knot (yay!). That was another exciting event. Odd, that the first thing I think about as important in the last months was someone else's happiness. Oh well.

Getting way too addicted to Go. I have around 15 browser tabs open at once normally, and invariably, six will be on the subject. It's OK though. Been on a diet lately, lost near ten pounds so far. I haven't seen 16_ on a scale in a long time. Still, why do I feel like something is missing?

For a long time, I've felt that I understood most of how the world works. It was all quite simple; but, my broad rosy strokes I used to paint my understanding can't quite agree with the doubtful/skeptical/bandwagon other half of my being. I can blame this on Nor-Cal all I want but I probably would be just as torn as if I was raised here and then moved down South. The difference in ideology is striking. They tell me to live o a firm foundation, but as try and grow wiser, I realize that other are anchored on different ones.

This optimism I used to have also extended to my own personal perception of self. It's the realization of one's own fallibility that is the most injurious.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Oh, blog, i miss you... i haven't been on you in almost a year... why is that so? work is fun... lets see, whats happened since last time i've spoken with you? well , i guess the biggest thing is that anna got married, we got a new president, the economy tanked, i hit 3 kyu, i visited ada in florida, kay turned 21... mostly things really haven't improved... it's very hard to get motivated lately, just getting home every night and just lazying about on the couch, and sometimes even just falling asleep right there... it's pretty scary how fast things are moving, time i mean... just the other day was my one year mark of living up in norcal... hmmm side note, there should be a way to parallel all this on facebook automatically... hmmm 2:00 in the morning... im tired.... nite

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

bahh, im sick... it sucks, most of my day is spent at work, and i can't talk about what i do much... secret proprietary stuff... watching "love story" some 1970's movie... catchy theme song, but thats all it has going for it... which reminds me... sigh, everyone's getting married... i feel wonderful for them... I wish them all the best... I wish i was in their shoes... to be so sure about something...

Monday, April 07, 2008

Argh, google just screwed with my password again, it shouldn't take ten mins to start writting a new post. Yeah, tired... of everything... got a traffic ticket on thurs... doing 88 on a 65... i blame second-life... changes happening all the time... three new hires coming tomorrow... should be interesting... I think I'll still be the youngest... blah... the most exciting thing i did this week was learn perl...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Sigh, what am I doing?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Hmmm, I feel like I don't know how to run my life anymore... like i can go either way on most decisions... like im a raft at the mercy of the waves... yes or no?... i keep asking that... to people without asking the question... see how people will unknowingly steer my life... i mean, does it really matter?... i would used to choose a place to eat for hours... and then in the end, i'm full, and i don't quite feel like it was the best meal i could have eaten... actually, i just just the same things to eat nowadays... sad thing is i don't mind it too much... sad metphor for life... i really don't care what i want... as long as i get through the day... been addicted to go lately... way too much, i even played it at work with my boss haha... 5 kyus in 6 months.... yay!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

ok, might as well, i woke up the other day and thought to myself: what the heck am i doing in norcal?... i mean this whole living growing up thing has gotta happen but... now that I'm in the middle of it... it used to be that 8 am classes were unthinkable, but now i have to wake up at 6:30 just to get to work by 8:30... the commute has been killing me... forty miles each way... i really should move, but i don't wanna risk getting a flopper... the place im situated is kinda nice... sigh, growing up... i guess it's a good thing, i still don't really get to see the sun though... my cubicle is nice.. spacious... it's kinda cool, i already get to design things and work on projects that are somwhat import to the company... been addicted to go lately, thats all the diversion i get... i need a haircut... have been planning one that last 3 weeks but never has gotten the time... also thinking about getting an iphone... so sexy... i don't know nothing very interesting happens lately... went to a western-themed club last night called the "saddle rack" last night... waaay out of my element... never have i felt more deliciously white trash... hmmm... im sorry microsoft, i've been a long fan... but the mac book pro is just too sexy... things just work... more to come... oh yeah, nice sexy new domain...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Hmm, I haven't blogged in 3 months... that also means that I haven't introspected in a long time... hmm new job, i still don't really know if i made a right choice coming all this way... just that i kinda feeling like i dropped everything back in sd, and had to restart everything... the new apartment is pretty nice... i think i can live here for a while... trying to grow some plants, keep the place looking nice... but the sunlight doesn't flow in that well... and the fire alarm is a bit over zealous... work hasn't kicked in yet... we've just been sitting for 3 weeks listening to how great cisco products are... tired... still trying to get used to the wake up early thing... it's about nine hours earlier than i normally do... speak to me... im lonely... "heh" ... i add that to a lot of convos now... it's almost like im trying to hide my melancholy with that little interjection... the heater sucks, it takes hours for it to heat a room... or the place is just that big heh... there it is again... getting 11Mb/s internet, fun stuff... don't know what to do with that... whatever, more later...