Monday, September 22, 2003
today sucked....... total -I.... feel like crud..... trampled .... couldn't stay awake in ANY class.....mind wandering, can't concentrate.... feel sick..... hungry all the time...... maybe im pregnant.... :P...... but really.... back to school night... got kidnapped.... beaten..... ignored...... sighz...... lunch was ok..... 6th was ok.... the rest jus--- eh.... one of those days u knoe... maybe im thinking too hard / trying too hard.... gotta relax not care.... then nothing can hurt meeh...... can't.....(sorry to all 3 of my readers for the exccessive ...'s) ...... too deep... missing..... need filled.....feels dejected? i think dats the word..... last month cumulated in the total pit of today...... good stuff happened..... not reassuring enough....... i ono...... not mine to possess.... maybe im not meant to ...... not my decision.... can't put it down..... sighz..... afraid...... drive ppl insane... that dirty, smokey, trapped, gray, cheap feeling..... hate it..... hate it..... hate it..... can't lose...... im better than that.... or not ...... don't knoe how to say.......to feel.... out of reach..... i know the solution... don't wanna hurt anyone..... myself..... others ....... fate? ......... want to believe the possibility...... can't stand to face it ....... want it...... not sure........ grass IS greener .... tried that........ hurts...... for many......... for me..... don't want to...... i used to hope....... that fate......... maybe...... but now i found better..... need that...... sighz....... can't have........ can i?