Sunday, May 30, 2004
wowz.... it can't be a week since i blogged... jeez.... PROM WAS SOOOOOOOO PHUN!!! XD.... yeah... such a long week.... many things happened sorta want to talk about it but my last post accidently got deleted.... hmmm.... yeah lessee monday: pangs of weirdness settled.... not much happened... then on tuesday... lessee, i had to do my monologue thing.... so pissed... wat happened was the minimum require ment was 25 lines, and i chose to memorize a section about 40 lines long, but then right when I passed the 25 line mark, i juss froze.... and juss walked off.... ugh!!!.... stup0 glow worms.... aye that incestruous, that adulterous beast/ with witchcarft of his wit,with traitorous gifts/ oh wicked wits and gifts that have the power/ so to seduce! Won to his shameful lust/ the will of my most seeming-virtuous queen.... erm that was the solo ensemble concert... hah... wat a joke.... yeah the orchestra percussion performed...measure 50.... banged random chords hah no one knew... terrible night to have a concert... only like ten ppl showed up.... yeah... and i stayed up till we hours of the morning juss to finish the board and set up the things for the next day.... the next day was the Troy Tech Fair.... hah another joke.... got put next to melissa hahaz... bang! ... brought a giant tub of jelly bellys to apease the viewers... we tried tossed them at easch other... seal style.... then see who could stop the most passerbyers to look at our displays hehez.... lost 9-10... yeahstrange met FEBC's co-founder's daugher.... lessee went to the mall... sooo tired... "four long years of troy tech, and all i got was this stupid cord".... noose.... dinner was lasagna... not bad.... tastes like school food.... strawberry AND chocolate.... yeah..... went to Pepe's with parents afterwards.... first time... the burrito fed three.... oh yeah had to leave i between so that i could go take a final... bombed it... was late.. forgot a calculator... gram-schmit method easier when u have calculator.... yeah that was that.... no more of that madness.... whoo.... so thursday was pretty uneventful, did a rehearsal for the rally... pissed cause ASB cut down our show to 3 mins... but then friday... 1st period, sheroda walks in "6 1/2"... we were like whoooo... so yeah.. the season couldn't have ended better... the gaze of all the juniors and senior seeing sumthing they have never seen before.... the wild applause.... hehe louder than for dance.... stupid carpet... still it was so great.... sighs.... never again... *snifflez*.... *tear*..... hmm... need to pass beta on.... i guess we got a good reception to the performance.... ppl, actually walked up and congratulated afterwards... couldn't use the backdrops though.... ehhh... yeah that was friday... went to genesis... walked in... "hey, isn't that nathan hauser?".... yeah odd....went to the life plaza.... saw petey there.... don't think he recognized meeh.... two years later, will people remember meeh?.. then saturady whooo PROM!!! okay woke up at seven.... polished shoes.... went back to sleep.... woke up at eight... took a giant lint roller to all my clothing.... went back to sleep... woke up at nine...laid out everything i was goin to need that night on the couch.... went back to bed... finally woke up at ten... now conscious.... took a shower... shaved.. (yes, im not THAT azn).... gelled my hair... got it to look half decent on my third... its usually easier in the morning when it not for prom, like five mins.... but this one took like 45 mins... urgh.... yeah... put everything on, checked EVERYTHING... then left at around 2.... got to the flower place at 2:30 saw em... purdy... shoot shoulda took a camera.... got to the mall... parked in the food court lot... did you knoe the JCPenny photography place is the next right door?... well, walk throught the food court around the mall... lobster moon thing.... then got the the picture place at 3... sat there... put on my tie... Justine got there at four... WOW PURDY!... yup took our pics... soo many poses... hmmm, haven't been to a portrait studio since i was like nine.... met brian + olivia, andrew + marie there.... everyone looks nice.... got choked... hehez.... left.... rode in justine's car to the Summit House... wowz... wat a restruant.... arm chairs for seats....had this pasta... justine had steak... then we all shared desserts, creme bruleil (spelling?), lemon tart, 3 chocolate thingy, apple cheesecake.. mmmmmmm... then wen to troy... all ten of us squished into a limo made for eight.... drank out of cute wine glasses... soda.... got there at 8.... nice place.... walked to the back to take pictures... then danced for a while.... then did caricature.... needs to be burned... was a 'real' caricature too... insulting... well not that bad... im juss ugly... danced sum more... eleven or fifteen or sumthing, i think hehe.... fullmer understands... yeah... then did sum kareoking, cats in the cradle with brian.... weird three times that day.... playing it on the piano in the morning, listened to it at the restruant... maybe its foreshadow.... *gasp*.... yeah.... never again.... danced sum more.... 'lady in red... is dancing with meeh'.... whoo.... yeah, slow dancing juss as freinds is weird.... so we left... another squishy ride.... went to denny's afterwards... got attacked... stomach was awry.... then we all got baq to troy ... left.... got home had some... ramen... falling into wonderful dreams.... the woke up at seven to get ready for church.... i think my teaching rotation is almost over.... phun stuff... kids are very unattentive.... can't control the boys... girls starting to do the "lets group to ourselves and talk about boys..." thing.... can't believe it takes three days to write this blog... yeah took the sister and her friends to lunch after wards.... "millions upon million of brothers".... whoo.... yeah got hom dozed off... caffeine pills don't work when theres no energy to draw.... then today... went to church picnic.... flag football... man am i out of shape... yeah had to switch to flags cuz parents got worried... and so the girls could play... lost.... played sum go... some five in a row... odd place... had one... one chicken wing... out of the hundreds they brought... and that was it.... now im here.... so yes, the last week was very bumpy, lots of emotional highs and lows.... tired... tired of a lot of things... those things i said in the last blog... i ono if they still apply... the blog that got deleted woulda told you that it didn't... but i think it does... maybe its juss meeh... all that time, thinking to myself... trying to stuff.... lost my way.... not that way, the less important way... yeah, but i wonder... i knoe im not gonna have the ease of familiarity, and innocence later on in life, and i ono if i can hack it n/e more... i don't wanna end up alone... been ignoring my heart too much.... funny, a while ago i tried to rid my mind of thoughts... and it sorta worked....i was happy.... so i was runny on heart.... but that didn't turn out well, so i began to do thinks with my head... and that went worse faster.... so now i am back to the place i started with.... sophmore year.... that battle with my heart and head... not about one entity... but of 'control' in general... anna might remember... sunny, fullmer.... that might have been bad advice.... then again.... i have no regrets... i realize i've become ambituous... playing go with meeh you'd knoe.... to the point of being careless... it is this carelessness that drives meeh now.... its sorta mixed with senioritis to form sorta this removal... reading a book... has some interesting mind games... one is to try to not think about n/e thing... that now come all too easy... i've been numbed from even trying.... like that last decision... damned if you do, damned if you don't... well, not really damned, sorely dissapointed... tired most of the time...but listening to other advice... they've regret the decisions that they've made.... don't wanna end up like them... many times it easier blaming others for your own faults... i've become pessimistic... doing that... eghhh thing more often... one good side of being pessimistic... is ur never suicidal.... u juss don't expect much n/e more... i really don't want my life to be like that... to fall into drudgery because i've stopped persuing things cuz they might turn out bad.... i guess, dats why i did wat i did... and if you understand and reading.... that is why... so no hard feelings, sorry if i was callous.....towards your other interests... and the envy i've shown.... i think paranoia and envy are really linked.... along with that a bit of narcism.... isabel, you might actually be wrong.... or more right then you or i will never knoe.... decisiveness is a desirable quality... and of these reasons... i guess they make up my psyche... many a times, i remember, i'd jus walk.... ppl would be laughing near by... 'oh they're laughing at meeh'.... there must be a giant blotch of gum on my pants (actually happened)... "i heard that guy cries after being lectured by a teacher (elmentary school)".... yeah.... hehez... freak'n insecurities... i swear that they will not control my life... it's that ray of hope thing... every cloud must have a silver lining, every tunnel must have a bright opening.... way do we do that to ourselves.... or rather, way do we question the silver lining.... is my pessimism all for vanity.... the other vanity.... all this i have done... but i realize that, they really have no bearing on the course of my life... sure alot of these things were fun.... but how does ur ranking effect the quality of life in the future.... not much i guess.... sighz.... these things are sumtimes depressing to write, ro read about.... but more so whe ur under pressure from ur sister to finish so that she could use the computer.... then again.... it really is uplifting... ranting is a great form of relieving pressure.... escapism.... yeah.... puitting ur life to cyberspace... if words can't hurt, surely electronic words are feather soft.... hehez... i've taked about this before.... now im juss repeating myself.... so now i close with a quote from sum obscure source... hehe.... "the heart is alway making the head its fool"....