Wednesday, June 30, 2004
ok... i ono a few posts ago.... i noted some stuff and how it might not work.... but juss now as i was looking through some blogs, LJs, and xangas.... i ono i think everythings gonna be alll right... yup i can't see the close knit that these ppl have and knoe that they will not gring n/ething into the ground... sighz i wonder how long i can associate before it gets pathetic.... well in about 3 years.... all memory would have faded...then i will be completely forgotten... not because those ppl forget, but they will no longer be there.... isn't that odd how.... stuff and stuff... phoooooo.... did nothing today.... except eat.... again put some more tyme into this blog... waste of tyme maybe... i ono.... i hate how blogger doesn't have a private function... annoyingish.... some stuff i want to write, but too lazy to keep a real diary and seems weird to be typing into a blank txt file.... not that ive not tried it before... cut up the pictures today.... finally remembered to.... not that i have n/e way to get them to n/e one... im not really a pictures person... i mean i treasure the ones i have and once in a while glance at them to "reminice" on the past and all that... but im not the one to take them... funny.... so yeah yesterday, sold another $80 worth of merchandise... so that brings my total sales to around a grand... sighz... i love how the job is so simple and mindless... like before i walk into a store, my mind juss turns off.... and relieving.... ish... its like that feeling i get sumtimes when i march.... its not that my mind is turned off... but for once i can forget about everything else and juss concentrate on the matter at hand and it seems almost liberating... some stuff i need to be liberated from.... i thought that once i got away from that place, some stuff wouldn't bother meeh n/emore... like it was the last few weeks of school, and w/e action i took wouldn't have n/e repercussions.... i think im wrong.. cuz like, i get odd pangs of anxiety, juss feeling that i might have done some stuff wrong... i hate the feeling of not being able to change it... helpless.... not really.... everyone is... yup, problem with staying at home all the tyme.... you run out of things to do, and all you're left with are ur thoughs, and some of mine are scary.... oh yeah, and i eat a lot of crud lying around the house.... like today... a few bananas, ramen, a few eggs, lots of ice(yes, plain, frozen water), M&M's... yeah.... crud... practiced my harmonicaing... actually the real term is harping... but that could also mean to drone on about something... also, bit my lip... so it kinda hurts to play... XP.... hmmm my tie is still on the table... haven't cleaned this thing since before the band banquet.... oh yeah i gotta start practicing for VBS... i have this DVD that you learn handmotions for kid songs... haven't got to it yet... i love all of you for reading this stuff... takes my mind off, that ppl read it... sorta... hehez.... oh yeah ants attacked today... kay was being a pig and left a slim jim wrapper on the floor... hmm... started reading sci-fi books again... (nerd) i knoe... at least it not startrek or n/e thing... yet.... jk... its good to be on the road... then again, i still have to take my parents everywhere.... ehhhz.... well im off... nite nite.... sweet dreamz...