Wednesday, September 21, 2005
What is love?... is it the undeniable need of another... i think not... I mean i have feelings of need towards some people too, but that in no way determine my love... is it the "fuzzy feeling" you get? i ono, i've never felt the fuzzy feeling (or i juss have never loved)... that makes meeh kinda sad, or frustrated, that I have never loved... why does it have to be so incomprehensible... why couldn't humans juss follow and rigorous algorithm like a computer, or a math equation?... confusement... I hate it, all this wondering... remember meeh saying haw this is the theme of my life... love lost or something romantic like that... i have found that to be very anti-climatic at times... isn't that true though, we may all secretly be wishing that our lives would turn out like romantic movies how the man runs into the heroin in some coffee shop and then find out through some weird connection that they were meant for each other and then ride a ship off into the sunset... we've all wished that, but how come it never turns out that way... the mundane lives we all tend to live... no fairy tales happen... i think i have become somewhat of a pragmatic over the years... can't trust any thing to luck or fate... why can't fairytales be true?... i don't even knoe when's the last time i believed in the tooth fairy of santa clause... its the world, its society, innocence is disappearing... kids are raised today to grow up faster... noted that its a move baq to an older system where children were expected to be adults by the time their sixteen or so, still there is so much more time to be a child these days... this reminds meeh of an old christmas song: "toyland, toyland, little girl and boy land,/ once you leave you'll ne'er be able to return." and this is particularly true... innocence i guess in that way is something that is precious... but i guess thats the price of adulthood... more like a tax, an unavoidable payment... the government will one day get even... so this applies to love in that i guess love is no longer the touchy-feely live-by-the-moment it once was... it has become an ordeal where one has to wonder about repercussions, about consequences, about logistics... I used to believe that a couple can live on love... that they can be happy and stay afloat just by living in the precence of some magical aura... but now I knoe that they must worry about bills, and putting food on the table... what jades us?... why does the brute of the world have to be revealed to anyone?... how happy this world would be if we could all juss live in that magical aura... talk is cheap, blogging does nothing...