Tuesday, January 17, 2006
whats that called when ur trying to breath and you can feel a litto rumbling in your chest? yeah i got that... bleh lying in bed and can't really sleep... a bit annoyed... hmmm, cofidence...how do you gain it? doesn't it seem kinda paradoxical, or wrong word, but just a crying shame that once you have no confidence, it kinda gets harder to build it up, cuz all your failures tend to push you back down... alright, that whole thing with the stupid alarm clock again... i swear, im waaay too paranoid... not like my sleeping patern is that great but... really, it also can't be that bad... alright, something else that can't be that bad... hmmm before i get into that.... the phrase "i was lead to believe" and "i was always taught that"... one more way that ppl displace blame... i mean, at some point they must have reached the point when they can think for themselves... but without further ado... i was always taught that if i have to say "it can't be that bad..." then it really is that bad... another one of those answering for urselves things... little feeling at the back of my mind that just keeps nagging at meeh... how and why... i wonder of most people feel it too... or is it that their just "depraved"... im feeling things that i have always taught never to feel... im sure i had a dream last night... seemed interesting... can't remember a single thing about it... once again, i wish i lived in the old days... the computing industry juss blosomed and it is possible to know exactly everything about a computer... so when going to a banquet sit at the last seat so that you may be invited up... i like that... learn your place, be happy with what you have... saw this movie recently, lost in translation... having an affair was acceptable cuz they weren't happy with their marraige... yes happy and thankful thats important i think...