Sunday, April 09, 2006
new outlook... if its meant to be, its meant to be... very apparent from the moment i just had... i went to earl's right after seeing denise, yen, and brian off... i bought a diet coke, some hand soap, and mentos... chatted with the girl at the register... and realized that i am really dispicable... all of my decisions (even the ones i don't act upon) are based on very limited foresight... hmmm my new years resolution was to be more decisive... yet... can i really say that i've wanted this more than anything else in my life? things scare me... they really do...now i just really don't know... you think about somehting so often that you just self reinforce the preconceptions you've made about something, and you don't stand back and reevaluate the circumstances under which those decisions were made... the decisions themselves... simply simply... excuses excuses... i am so afraid that all i have done was to excuse myself from the things i should have done... it's just not simple