Sunday, May 14, 2006
what it is, is that there really is nothing to look forward to anymore... it used to be that almost every weekend, or even everyday, there was something to look forward to... like an event that would justify the rest of the cruddy day... but those don't come by as often as they should anymore... or it's just that I really don't value stuff as I used to... yeah, younger, i could afford to philosophize back then... but nowadays... it really isn't worth it... there's just so much more to do... wait, then again, im just sitting here blogging... so i will once again... what is love? heh, i remember starting a blog like this a long time ago, and having people laugh at me later... but yeah, as ridiculous, the notion then... it equally is now... so i will now idiotically try to understand it... love doesn't exist... hah!... not in the way we think we understand it... society has basically screwed ourselves when we decided to lump a broad spectrum of unrelated terms under the collective umbrella of "love"... language really is one very important determinant on how we perceive reality... for instance, we call money "the greens"... but if you pick up a dollar bill, its really black... and only green on one side... same thing, we percieve love as this great big unified feeling in which we can relate family, hobbies, and food... when in actuality, there are a multitude of different loves... a parent caring for a child, a child respecting his parents, a husband uplifting his wife, a wife supporting her husband, my disposition for fried rice, the enjoyment i feel when programming, a soldier's duty to his country... in all these cases, we call them "love"... this is detrimental... should we really love our country as we should love our wife or our fathers? ... no... so the question really is not "what is love"... but how should I love given my circumstance?... it isn't true that all these loves are mutually disparate... if I love my hobby, I spend time with it, if a man loves is wife, he spends time with her... so in this general sense of love, I can safely say that to "love" is to spend my life with the object of my affections... isn't that a jump time=life?... no really... no matter what creed you believe, you cna't dny that are life is basically the time spent on this earth... a martyr sacrifices his life in the sense that he relinquishes the remaining rent on his life... so if we love something, we spend our lives with it... simple... So then all thats left is how we love the people we love correctly?... iono... i'll figure that out one day... just that there is a difference... who gets to define what is the correct way to love... a stalker may define love to be staring a women for hours on end... others may define love as the amount/quality of sex they share... is it God that gets to define this... I am taught that God loves me (another type of love)... this I don't deny... and the biblical definition of love and the way that God's love is a metaphor for the way we should love others... its a good start... you dont' have to believe in God to believe that it really is a good basis... the qualities of being forgiving, unwavering, devoted, etc... but can a society really incorporate that?... none have... its something to strive for... but unrealistic... us being fallible humans... your husband cheats on you, no matter how much you love him the result is that you may not trust him as much... love shouldn't be stupid... do you keep loving him? my answer is that "you should" even though it is hard... but not fully recognize that he should not be trusted alone with another woman... but where is the love in that? i guess the question is does love have to be returned?.... obviously, the husband doesn't return the same kind of love that the wife is trying to share... and in a way it shouldn't... the rule returning love, maybe is to return the type of love that the spouse expects... how about if the husband is blatantly trying to leave his wife?...no love at all/wrong kind of love?... actually, im tired of this... doesn't apply to me... the self-centered/practical person in me is trying to figure things out and the philosophical side was taking over for a while... i guess my question is, is it stupid to love without love returned?... parents everywhere... no returned love, but not stupid to keep loving... then is that the kind of love i am limited to?... do I even deserve to... what am I deserved to... am I entitled anything?...