Saturday, September 23, 2006
ok, lets try this again... its been bad... weird thoughts are going through my head all the time... i want to clear my mind of all this shit... just that it doesn't seem to go away... haven't blogged in about a month... now school is starting again... was on campus thurs and fri (obviously)... and i ono... i just got really tired... pissed off at things that were just on my head... i don't really know why... its all a mental game... life is... your actions are dependant on the way perceive the world... and the way you percieve your world is through your actions... vicious cycle... the level of weird thoughts have just been getting out of hand... at times, i have to actually stop dead in my tracks and just take a breath... it's bad... i can sense it turning me into a bitter person... my theory was correct, it really does turn you off to a lot of things, and now a lot more so... not been able sleep too well recently either... i mean i get lots of it... but i just don't feel like it... vivid dreams lately... not all bad... i believe that dreams were meant to teach us things... i read an article on how dreams could be you brain sorting out the information gathered throughout the day... and it make a lot of sense... so in a way... your dreams are just manipulating the data randomly to get the peices to fit together... but thats where the learning takes place... the met this guy one the bus... ex-navy, then ex-con ( iono, i like talking to these ppl on the bus... interesting... and you never know what you're gonna learn)... so this guy i guess was stationed in asia for a while and picked up shinto... "there has never been an unselfish act"... see, i've heard this one before... and up till recently i din't want ot believe it... but now.... i ono... oh and then he told me about the time a guy tried to kill him with an axe... but yeah... or maybe im just a selfish person... it's always about me... really, when have i really cared for a person... i guess no one wants to admit to things like these... so here i am now... i am a selfish person... i have never performed an unselfish act... ok, changing the topic... i tink i know what i want to be now... a computational linguist... just an idea... i like computing, im starting to like linguistics... this will be perfect... sat in front of the IPA phonemes chart today and tried to pronounce everything... /dzeI/... thats right... okay, im done... night...