Tuesday, November 07, 2006
simple... hmmm i guess no is as good a time as any... I've never vocalized my beliefs... why the heck not, i talk about everything else here anyways... so i guess the greatest question is: why is faith the requirement of any religion... not in the the sense that a religion is defined as a system of beliefs... or i guess where im going with this is, "why is christianity based on the requirement of faith"... it could'nt have been anything else... so far, the answer that i've received is that faith is important because we are endowed with free will, and we must choose to believe in the gospel... ok, and God is gonna let us choose our paths, and just by showing us himself, its basically giving us no choice but to follow him... ok... but why the choice in the first place... was it not enough that he could create beings that had no choice but to worship him... but he had to give them the possibility of falling away... what does it say about the glory of god when there are those that don't choose to follow him? thinking too much... about other things too... man, where's my motivation... there comes a point when all i feel is that life comes by me, and all i have to do i fulfill what is asked of me... the rest of the times, i'm just content in staring at little peices of code, at random nonsense... just wasting time... life just feels so blah now... i saw this drawing on the floor done with tape the other day... a man's pointing a gun at his head, and the subtitle was "love me"... why does that look appealing... they say that art is great because it is relevent... its kinda scary when i find stuff like that relevant... just thinking too much... know what it is? i don't grasp my opportunities correctly... actually maybe its all in my imagination and they never existed in the first place... what happened... there used to be a conservative me i remember the "I don't like to lose"... made safe bets... but now... hmmm pondered this thought in my head the whole day... about a horrible way i could classify myself... the consequences... and the realization that if i start seeing myself this way then... i ono... desolate, bleak, arid, bland, subdued, frosted, hollow... oh yeah, i really need to start running again... so i went home this weekend... parents where pushing on to me that i need to start worrying about the future... grad school, gre's... stuff like that irks... now that i think about on the subject of my blogs, i realize that its made up of a whole lot of disappointments... not because things are bad, but because i read too much into situations... i guess im still too optimistic... should i change it?... i love how life is just made to silly things like that that don't agree... theres no one simple solution...i guess my one passion in life... simplicity contradicts with the essence of life itself... things just aren't that way are they?... oh well...