Saturday, January 06, 2007
im tired... the thing is... i just did something really really stupid... and it was a bit unsettling... ehh... so i was, hanging out with some people i haven't in forever, it felt good, i felt safe... just that the world moves so fast these day, you never knoe what we might have missed... people don't change... none of us have changed that much... its not a bad thing... it give the rest of us a sense of security... false as it may be... mmm, played tennis today... hehe fun... man am i out of shape... ok so news resolution time: less diet coke drinking... wake up earlier... more motivated in everything... watch what i say... work out more often... eat more greens... leaving anything out? hmmm, was talking to justine, about stuff, relationships, and what not... she's right, im glad... more than glad... that i've plucked up enough courage to talk openly with people i used to have a crush on... haha... sounds unimportant and naive... maybe, but it really is kinda hard... especially for us introverts... glad... and thats why im kinda pissed at myself right now... then again, it really is the truth... so blah... does nature/ nurture apply here... cuz its something that nature has endowed me with... possibly and i realy can't do anything about it... nevermind... another new year... its pretty rediculuous... sat with camille at a denny's on new year's night... just talking and sipping coffee... familiar faces are great... again missing the ball drop, but eh... and once again, i find that the year is no different then the ones that have passed... in all respects... i am no nearer to any goals... not that i have any concrete goals of speak of... the same drifter mentality... its horrible... sucking up all the I and wasting it on stupid things... thats what i've been doing... and this year isn't looking like its gonna be different... i guess it's a bit too early to be depressed about things... actually a lot has changed even during this break... for instance, im getting a new roomate... many old aquantences have been re aquainted... oo oo, new years resolution part two: be hypocritical of my own tastes, i'm going to stop being so clingy... actually, that once again raise the problem of taste... i don't deny that i have my own taste in women... and don't deny girls don;t have qualities about guys they prefer than others... but thats what this whole dating thing is supposed to be for right?... so im trying to think back to the olden days... before dating was invented... wayback when.... i refuse to deny that true love didn't exist, yet, people are content with say an arranged marriage... how can that be?... it keeps begging the conclusion that people and learn to love someone... and that means that the someone can be really just anyone... and you have to learn to love them... then whats the point of dating?... now that i think about it, dating haas done nothing but retrict my potential choices... all i can think about when i think about girls is the qualities thatimight not be about to live with later... that is what dating has done... may imma restrict myself to casual things from now on... tired... im always tired... actually im sore all over right now... its like when i got back fom thanksgiving and i was sore for a week after playing at the turkey bowl... marrrkkkkyyyyy... ii missss youuu..... ok... i might just go sleep now.. i am reallllyy tired and not wanting to think, soooo, nighty night and sweet dreams... muah