Sunday, April 15, 2007
i think i'm developing migraines... so the whole of this quarter i guess will be spent in the lab... might as well... at least once before i graduate... not having dreams lately... not cool... i really enjoy dreaming... even nightmares... only in dreams can our innermost fears come out and haunt us... so i went to a pcn... very nicely done... all the time i spetn at troy, i never got the chance... life really is like that, when you have something, you don't cherush it and take it for granted... but then when it goes away, you gotten travel 150 miles to riverside just to see one... hehe... had dinner with tina recently... got into a conversation about how we think... i guess there are those that really do need to think in terms of memorization... as for me i believe that the world is one giant metaphor... it's really finding the parallelisms in the universe that drive us... for example scientist, they try drawing parallels between mathematics and the physical world... stuff like that... tired... dead too often... my fears are everywhere... i once said that i liked computers because the gave you the power of god... to be able to understand everything completely... that this purely human device must bend at our every will... sad fact is that nothing in life is as it should... there comes a point when the complexity and depth at which somethings lie is just right beyond our grasp... is goes for life too, i guess i may never figure out the breadth that which this world is constituted, but i'll try... blue lines... every man has his wishes, but what do you do when nothing can be obtain because the wishes conflict? i guess it's part of the human condition or whatever... i walked home last night from the lab... dark and cold... i tried to find the shortest route possible.... had to cut through some mean bushes... but there was this empty lot next to the glaucoma center... vacant patch of dirt... just far enough so that if you looked up, the nearby street lamps don't pollute the dark... so i did... wasn't much to see except for a vast ocean of nothingness... it reminds me of a short poem by Piet Hein. what if we aren't standing on the earth, but holding up the world with our feet?... and we're just looking down upon the eon of stars below us?... flutter.... ok I'm tired... good night and sweet dreams.,,